DRAFT–

I couldn’t figure out how to link it here, so here is the full draft. :/

 

 

Food has gotten a bad rep when it comes to the experience of grief, but there are ways that we can use food to positively effect our lives and the grieving process when dealing with grief.

Food, or the lack of it, is used as a way to deal with grief all of the time, but we may be doing some things with food that could turn out to be negative in our lives—so how can we use food as a positive way to deal with grief?

 

EAT FOOD TOGETHER

As we all know, being alone during hard times can be quite challenging to the spirit. One of the things that you can do to mix food with positivity for your process of grieving is to surround yourself with good people and eat together.

Janine Utell explored the ways an author named Virginia Woolf used food in moments of the mourning process in a scholarly article. The characters in the book annually came together to have meals while they were all grieving a loved one who passed away.

Through a ritual gathering with meals, they all highly benefited from gathering as much as possible to eat. And although it was a reminder of the loss, when it was with those dealing with it too, it positively furthered their individual grieving processes.

There is even an organization called The Dinner Party that meet all over the world, specifically the USA, that have potlucks surrounded by the idea of life after loss, and having open discussions about grieving while eating.

Food is a great way to bring people together while grieving.

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EAT FOOD TO REMEMBER

Whether alone or with other people, eating your loved one’s favorite foods can be a great way to remember them in a positive way.

“It may lead to sad or bitter reaction earlier in the bereavement process,” says Clinical Psychologist Dr. Claudia Herbert. “But later on a reminder may connect them to the loving memories they shared. It can give them a sense of comfort and eating the food may bring them back to the good times they enjoyed.”

My father lost his dad when he was in his mid 20’s. “He loved stakes,” my father said when I asked him if he ever used food as a positive aspect in his grieving process. “After he went missing, your Mom and I would fix them just how he liked it, slow cooked in the oven, as a way to enjoy him in memory through his favorite food.” Slow cooked stakes on Sunday nights is a staple with my family.

Eating your loved ones’ favorite foods after they pass can have positive effects if you use it as a time to remember them in a positive way.

But food, as we all know, can have negative effects on us in our grieving process.

 

REPLACE BAD HABITS WITH GOOD ONES

We can sometimes use food to deal with grief by binge eating, or not eating at all. It can be be the start of any eating disorder.

In an article written by Mary Anne Cohen, the Director of the New York Center for Eating Disorders, a bulimic patient describes her body fat as “frozen grief” as she finally begins to deal with the loss of her father, who died when she was only 4 years old. Instead of speaking about it, she would ‘eat’ about it.

To prevent eating disorders, once you begin to see new negative eating habits being formed after the loss of a loved one, acknowledge it and try to replace it with a new healthy habit.

For example, every time you may crave sweet or salty foods, challenge yourself to open a journal and write what you actually may be feeling. If you still have a deep craving, then get a serving of that food! But do it after you have taken a moment to understand why you may want the food in the first place.

 

IS FOOD THE SOLUTION?

Grief, like a lot of things in life, is a process. And one thing that you can’t do is rush it. Food can’t speed it up or slow it down, but it can be a positive addition to it.

If you use food in the positive ways I have stated above, you could use it as a way to help you on your personal road in life. Food isn’t always so negative in the grieving process when you make a choice to look at it through a positive lens.

So eat with people, alone, or even with a journal by your side. But in the end, eat knowing that it is only a part in the grieving process—not the solution.